


on a rich man's dime

by polyxena_chatoyant



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dimension Travel, Gen, Self-Insert, Sioc, having to go to live with 11-year-olds is simply a minor setback, learn magic of course!, no romance as of yet and very little plot planned, short chapters so far but might be longer when we get to more plotty stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23542201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polyxena_chatoyant/pseuds/polyxena_chatoyant
Summary: Poppy Vincent went from making breakfast one morning in her tiny apartment in a shitty city in 2020 in one dimension, flipped her pancake on the stove, and found herself standing in a forest in another dimension, 1991, the next moment. She's never been one to react to strange situations normally, why start now?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	1. truth serums, new teeth, and whispering portraits

**Author's Note:**

> welcome! it's three am for me as I post this, and I wrote this first chapter very quickly. It's short, to the say the least, unlike my other fics. I'll probably be keeping things short for this one, so I can slam out chapters. Very slice-of-life, you could say. I hope you enjoy!

She’s been here hours, now. She’s tired, her throat is sore from all the talking she’s been doing, the portraits are watching her and whispering, and there’s a new tooth in her mouth. An  _ enchanted _ tooth, one that had taken the place of a molar she’d gotten pulled two years ago. Poppy had been scared shitless at first, and is probably still a little bit scared. However, the opportunity to learn magic while she’s in this universe? Undeniably awesome. And now, the bones in her jaw and ear wouldn’t be shifting out of place from her missing molar! 

The two wizards in front of her -  _ wizards! _ How cool! - have just finished discussing how they’re going to proceed with their research in how to return her to this universe. Honestly, Poppy wouldn’t mind if they never figured it out. What was waiting for her back there? Friends? Not recently. Family? None that she spoke to anymore. A job? Not one she found remotely interesting. Magic? Nope!

Plus, the fact that she doesn’t know any magic at all, despite undeniably being a witch somehow, means that she can’t even help them in their research. All for the better, she supposes. She’s always been too good at research; had she been able to help, she’d be back in her boring, magic-less universe by dinner time. 

“Miss Vincent,” said the old Gandalf-like fellow, who had introduced himself as Albus Dumbledore before, “does this sound adequate?”

Poppy nodded eagerly with a grin, rubbing her wrists and glad she was no longer magically constrained to a chair. The truth serum they’d dosed her with, though, is still in effect. “Oh yeah, definitely! Learn magic along with a bunch of kids, try not to rip apart the universe, and keep my head down! Can do, Headmaster, sir!”

The other wizard, the one dressed in all black and looking quite like a vampire, scowled. Severus Snape, she’d come to understand in their short acquaintance, was a bit of a Debbie Downer. 

“Try not to blow up the school while you’re here,” he drawled. “I’d rather not file the paperwork needed if I should have to kill you.”

He sounded very serious, but she didn’t mind. “I’m sure my ghost would help you out, Professor. Now, someone said something about me getting a wand?”

Dumbledore chuckled good naturedly, his eyes twinkling. She wondered if that was a him thing or a wizard thing. She wanted to twinkle her eyes. “I will accompany you to Diagon Alley tomorrow morning, Miss Vincent, as all the shops would be closed at this hour. For now, Severus shall show you to your quarters where you will be staying until the start of term; while you are here during this summer, he will act as your guardian, so do not be afraid to come to him with any questions.”

Poppy found the disgusted face Severus made amusing, before the Headmaster’s words sunk in. “Until the start of term, sir?”

“Why yes,” he said, a conspiratorial smile on his face. “Come the first of September, you will be a First Year student, after all. You’ll be joining your yearmates in whichever dorm you are sorted in.”

Poppy gaped. “I… I have to stay with a bunch of eleven-year-olds? Oh dear.”

“Perhaps you’ll gain a few brain cells that way.” Snape sneered. 

“Or lose a couple thousand,” she replied absently, and sighed. “Well, as long as I get to learn some magic! I can handle kids.”

The savage smile Snape bore was almost more like baring his teeth. 


	2. banks, shopping, and engorgement charms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poppy discovers she basically has a pseudo-Sugar Daddy in Dumbledore and takes full advantage of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three hours and 1.5k words later, I am back again. Longer chapter this time!

Diagon Alley was almost as magical as Hogwarts, in that Hogwarts was a magical castle and Diagon Alley filled with magical boutiques. Castles are really cool, but Poppy adored shopping. She adored it even more so when she wasn’t the one paying. 

Speaking of, though. “Headmaster?”

“Hmm?” the wizened wizard replied, watching a gaggle of children in front of an ice-cream parlor with a bemused smile.

“I don’t exactly have any money,” she says as casually as she can, trying not to convey the fear that this chance was about to be ripped away, “How am I going to be paying for anything?”

He turned his attention back to her from the children, a smile on his face. “Do not worry, Miss Vincent. I will be supplying your things, for as long as you remain here.”

She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. “I might be here awhile. I don’t want to drive you to destitution, Headmaster.”

Dumbledore seemed to find this funny, a twinkle in his eye as he patted her shoulder. “Not to worry, my vault cannot be drained that easily.”

“If you’re sure,” she said. 

“Quite.”

And with that, they continued forward. Poppy peered around her in wonder, spying the particular fashions of the magical world. Robes and fancy hats, some with taxidermy animals fashioned on top and some with moving shapes and figures stitched on. She felt a little out of place in her jeans and t-shirt, but couldn’t deny the excited anticipation of dressing that way. It was right out of a story book, and if she got to wear something even half as exciting as Dumbledore’s bright periwinkle robes with moving constellations on them, she would die of happiness.

Their first stop was the wizarding bank, Gringotts, which was apparently run by goblins. Fascinating, she decided, and very grand. It was a large building made of white marble that seemed to tilt to the side dangerously. No one else appeared worried about structural integrity, least of all the goblins themselves, so she paid it no mind. 

The cart ride to Dumbledore’s vault was rather like a rollercoaster. She wasn’t the type to whoop with glee, but it was a rush all the same as she clutched her seat for dear life. It felt like they had arrived almost too soon, as she stepped out and onto the cavern floor before a wall of twisting pipes and stonework. The goblin who had escorted them slotted Dumbledore’s key into the moving wall and Poppy gaped as the vault opened.

_ Holy shit _ , she thought to herself.

It was filled to the brim with piles and piles of gold coins. Dumbledore explained the coins as he gathered up handfuls into a small bag that didn’t bulge at all; 29 knuts, the small bronze coins, to a sickle, the medium sized silver coin, and 17 sickles to a galleon, the large gold coin. Quite a strange number, but then, magic itself was stranger. Stranger still was the fact that Dumbledore was stinking, filthy,  _ magically _ rich. His earlier words to her were credible.

She didn’t want to make him regret what he said, per se. 

Oh, what the hell, of course she was going to make him regret it. Benevolent, bourgeois wizard. 

Their first stop when returning to the alleyway was the wand shop, to her absolute delight. It was called Ollivanders and, from the sign, had been around for centuries. Fine wandmakers indeed, Dumbledore explained; he’d known the wandmaker since he himself had been a boy.

The wandmaker was an interesting man who had been delighted to see Dumbledore, and curious about Poppy herself. She didn’t answer many of his questions, though he didn’t seem to care. He spent the majority of their visit magicing up tape measures to fly about her body before handing her wands almost at random. It took nearly an hour to place her with a wand that didn’t blow something up or light something on fire. Poppy would have been happy with any of the wands, because even that was magic! If the only magic she could ever do in her life was blow things up or cause spontaneous combustion, she would be a happy witch indeed.

Still, she did find a wand for herself. Cedar wood, 14 inches long, with a unicorn hair core. Good for charms, Ollivander had said, and a rather stubborn wand. 

After that, they went to get her clothing. Dumbledore confused the tailor, a Madame Malkin, by requesting a full set of Hogwarts students robes. 

“She’s a little old to be getting that set, Headmaster,” the woman noted.

“One is never too old to do some learning,” he replied with a grin that mirrored Poppy’s own.

“I’d also like some other items,” Poppy chimed in cautiously. However, when Dumbledore said nothing, she continued. “Undergarments, socks, trousers, skirts, blouses, daily robes, cloaks, the whole works. I’ve moved quite suddenly and my luggage was lost on the way.”

Malkin clucked sympathetically. “Of course, how horrible. Let’s talk style, cut, and color, shall we?”

The trip to the boutique took even longer than the wand shopping. Perhaps because Poppy was very particular about her tastes and ambitious in her bold styles. She left the store with dozens of bags on her arms, and despite the number of them they were light as a feather. 

“Let me free you up there, Miss Vincent,” Dumbledore said, and waved his knobly wand. The bags floated off her arms and shrunk midair before floating into her pockets. “I quite enjoy your style of shoes.”

Poppy grinned, thinking about the embroidered velvet boots with moving bluejays on them. “I rather hoped you would, sir.”

The shopping went a little faster after that, mostly with gathering school supplies fit for a first year and beyond. She wasn’t very picky for most things, though Dumbledore showed her how to be thorough in checking her wares before purchasing. Cauldrons needed to have a good, solid bottom, dragonhide gloves had to fit like, well, a glove, and potions ingredients were best hand-selected rather than straight from a kit. 

Their final destination, though, was most definitely her second favorite. (Following the wand, of course.)

The book store, Flourish and Blott’s.

“I’m sure you’re quite eager to begin reading,” Dumbledore said as they went up. “I myself, as a younger man, enjoyed owl-ordering from the catalogue frequently.”

“Owl-ordering?” she questioned curiously.

“In the wizarding world,” he explained, “witches and wizards send post with the usage of carrier owls. Flourish and Blott’s allows for orders through owls, along with a signed bank statement to be taken to Gringotts by an employee for payment. If you so wish, you’ll be able to buy such a catalogue and I will provide the statements upon your need.”

Poppy grinned. She was doing a lot of that today, it seemed. “Do I have a book limit, sir?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I would never place a limit on learning, Miss Vincent. I think I shall wait here at the front while you peruse the shelves. Do take a basket with you.”

She snatched one up from the storefront immediately. He’d been telling the truth; there wasn’t a limit with him on how many she could buy. She left with what seemed a whole library’s worth of books to read, though she’d have to owl-order the first year syllabi books if she hadn’t already once the book lists were provided later in the summer.

When they arrived back at the castle, it was mid-afternoon. They had spent the better half of the day shopping. Dumbledore dropped her off at the portrait of Snape’s quarters in the dungeons, which she had to go through to get to her own room and bathroom. 

Entering, she didn’t see Snape in the main bit, which functioned as both a living room and study. However, on his workbench, a cauldron was bubbling over a magical bunsen-burner, so she knew he was nearby. She went to the portrait on the wall next to the fireplace, which depicted a landscape of a forest and pulled at the frame to open it up.

Once the portrait closed behind her, Poppy dumped the shrunken bags, parcels, and boxes onto the floor and got her wand out of her back pocket. This was the first spell she was going to cast, shown to her by Dumbledore in the Alley.

Waving her wand deliberately, she enunciated clearly. “Engorgio.”

Her things returned their full size, taking up nearly the whole room. Overcome with glee, Poppy did a little jig and waved her wand, watching golden sparks drift to the floor like shooting stars. 

“Hell yeah!” she said rather loudly. From beyond her portrait door she heard a muffled curse and a bang. Whoops, seemed Snape forgot she was here again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 will include Hagrid, bothering Snape, and buttloads of studying for Poppy.

**Author's Note:**

> Meet Poppy Vincent! 21 years old, muggle in almost every way, and delighted to have the ability to make sparks out of a wand. 
> 
> Chapter 2 shall be her shopping trip with Dumbledore, and the inspiration for the fic title. 
> 
> What do y'all wanna see? Maybe a Snape POV? Dumbledore POV? Harry POV? Sorting Hat POV? I'll write whatever, this is the funnest thing I've written in a bit. Lighthearted for now, but if I end up writing it for long, like, say, into CoS, things will have to take a more dark turn what with the happenings. Magic isn't all sunshine and rainbows, after all.


End file.
